Noah Puckerman

This is the first school break where I get to use magic, so I need to brainstorm ideas. I need to do something totally baddass, up the ante. Not something dumb like arson that I could have done either way.

I could charm the bushes into moving out to the road.

Or turn all the doorknobs in the neighborhood into dicks.

Or levitate pee balloons on Mr. Kinsman when he steps out of his house.

Help me out, here.

Does anybody know how to

Has anyone ever had

Who was I with the other night? I think something happened.

((ooc: Strikes hackable!))

Hannah got her Hogwarts letter. If anyone tries pulling any of that hazing shit on her, I'll tie you to one of the goal posts.

I kinda miss being in school. If my mum wants to bitch at me, she has to wait for an owl to get there, during breaks, she can just call me whenever she wants.

"Noah, where are you? Noah, you should tell me before you take off to the other end of the country. Noah, you aren't on the run from the police, are you?"

Like I can't be left alone for a minute.

[And some inkblots, and a pause, before...]

Hey, Quinn? I don't know if you're reading this, but I'm sorry about that twat picture. I forgot it was there.

...why does everyone just assume I'm gonna do something stupid on the trip?

Quit judging me, I can behave. I'm doing it right now.

Puckasaurus to Gryffindor.

Yeah, every last one of you assholes.

Suck it.

And just so you know, I mean my dick.

Usually I spend spring break cleaning pools and vandalizing, but most of the break was Passover, so I was at home eating funky bread and trying to convince mum that we didn't need another Schindler's List marathon.

I didn't win.

[Filtered from Lauren - but poorly]

I think someone's poisoning my food. She walked by and tapped my food with her wand at dinner, and this morning, she randomly wanted to be partners in Potions. She never wants to be partners.

And I don't remember what we made, but I'm pretty sure it was bad.

How do you tell if your potatoes are fucked up?

[Puck tries to write, for a minute...but it's all wildly incoherent scribbles, inkblots, and stabs at the page. A few minutes after seemingly abandoning the idea, he gets the voice charm to work. Kinda. It might not sound like it, since he's slurring everything he says.]

Who the fuck am I and why am I exploding.

I feel...like I'm spinning in a wheel. The Wheel of Fortune.

Gimme a...G. For Godzilla.

Raaaaawwwwwwrrrrghhhh---FUCK, turn it off--

[And THUD.]

Practice sucked. I knocked the shit out of myself because I couldn't focus, because I kept getting yelled at.

[Have some little blood spatters, courtesy of Puck's nose!]

Seriously, this is garbage. If I go to hospital wing, you think I can get them to keep me through class tomorrow?